Tuesday, July 1, 2014

A letter for my pint-sized powerhouse on his first birthday !


Easton,

  I cannot believe a year has already almost come and gone. It's so bittersweet! While I'm extremely grateful to have had the chance to be your mother for an entire year, I wish it wouldn't have flown by so quickly.
  Exactly one year ago I had so much anxiety about becoming a mother. I feared I wouldn't be worthy of your love or that'd I'd never be good enough for you. That quickly changed as your tiny body melted every ounce of my heart. Quickly I learned my heart could hold so much more love than I ever dreamed imaginable. You became my reason for being. Being your mother must have been written in my DNA and tattooed across my heart. One day you'll experience this kind of love when you have children of your own and it'll feel exactly how I described it. I cannot remember my life before you and I cannot picture it without you.
  In this year we have experienced more than most could ever imagine. You have had more surgeries and hospital stays than some people ever even have in a life time. You are my hero. You are my pint-sized powerhouse! You are the strongest little being I've ever met in my entire life. We've spent more time in hospitals, doctors offices, therapy sessions, and on the road traveling to and from out of state appointments than we have in the comfort of our own home. Through all the late nights and exhausting days, there are memories that seem to cloud the bad times and swell my brain with good times. What I can remember most about this year is how much happiness you've brought in to my life. I now look forward to waking up to your beaming face jumping in your crib. I go to bed anxious to wake up and enjoy all of my day with your bubbly personality. Your ability to charm me with your handsome smile is kind of dangerous. I don't know how I'll ever be able to tell you no. I would gather up the stars just to put them in your hands. Your laugh could make the most grumpy disgruntled human being smile. Your desire to love is infectious. I see the way you've changed the lives of so many around me and it makes me so overwhelmed with appreciation to be your mother. I'll never forgot how you've changed my life and made me into a better person.
  I cannot wait to watch you grow in to an amazing man! I will cherish every moment with you. I hope that I can be all you've ever needed in a mother and more. I hope that you never forget my love for you.  I hope that you can see your darling little self through my eyes. Your father and I are eternally grateful for your being. You've created and inseparable bond between us and taught us so much about life in such a small time frame. We can't wait to see what this next year with you has in store for us!!!

Love forever and always,

Mom!